My Tiny Valentine

With Jake being gone, I had a great little backup for my Valentine this year! And don't worry - Jake was okay with being replaced this one time.

This is one of the few pictures we have of him with absolutely nothing on his face - no tape, no wires, no monitors. If he looks a little upset, that's because he had just had his breathing tube and feeding tube unexpectedly pulled out. That is also why there is leftover tape residue on his face. After I gave him his bath and changed his diaper, they decided to turn him over and give him some "tummy time" but when they flipped him something went wrong with his ventilator tube, so they had to pull it out and switch it with a new one. He didn't like it one bit:

And they had to hand bag him for a little while, which was pretty scary.

But when it was all said and done, they flipped him over on his belly,

wrapped him up in his swaddle that he loves so much,

and all was well in his world again.

He is now up to 1 pound 13 ounces! What a big little guy!

In other news, I am flying out tomorrow for Jake's graduation! It's a really short trip, because I can't be away from Jaden for too long, but I'm super excited to see Jake again.

My Husby is a SAILOR!!!

I got 2 calls from him yesterday telling me that he passed Battle Stations 21 and he is now officially a SAILOR!!! I am SO proud of him! This means that he will officially graduate one week from today and that he can't be set back in training. Now they just kind of relax because all of the intense training is done. I am seriously just so proud of him for doing this really hard thing - hard for him, hard for me, and hard for Jaden. But we have already been blessed for his service, most obviously in the form of really great military insurance! So I will fly out in less than a week to see my love and I get to bring him his cell phone and laptop so we can have more contact. Originally we were going to move out there right away, but since Jaden couldn't wait to be born, that's not an option anymore. So there will just be more time apart, which stinks, but we will have more contact and ways to stay in touch, which is good.

Speaking of Jaden, today is his 2 week birthday!!! That's a pretty big milestone as far as I'm concerned. A lot of time they count by gestational age, so he is 29 weeks now. I'm so proud of him and his fighting spirit! As far as his health, he is doing slightly better. They had to put his ART line back in, so he has the big 'club' on his arm which looks super uncomfortable. He is still just doing a lot of waiting, relaxing, and gaining his strength. He is up to 7mL of milk every 3 hours! What a chunker! He definitely doesn't look as small as he used to. Whether that's because he's growing or because I'm getting more used to looking at him every day, I'm not sure. But I find him just adorable!

Here are some pictures of his ART line. It is a small tube that goes right into his artery so they can draw blood easily and it gives them an accurate blood pressure reading. However, they must keep his wrist straight while it is in, so they have to attach the "club" to his arm. Doesn't it look uncomfortable?

I changed some more diapers today. I'm starting to change them every day now. He left me a nice and colorful present in one of them! Warning: baby nudity to follow...

My mom also wanted to make sure that I got a picture of his hand in mine. I was super scared to do it because I didn't want to touch him without gloves because I didn't want to get him sick, but after a lot of convincing and a LOT of hand washing and antibacterial hand washes, here is the result:

Precious, isn't it. He is just so special! I love this little guy!

His First "Not-So-Great" Day

Yesterday started out early with a 5am call from the hospital. It's really scary to get a call from the hospital in the middle of the night because you automatically assume the worst. Luckily the worst hasn't happened, but Jaden did have a hard night. He wasn't doing so well on the cPAP anymore (I think his tiny body was just exhausted from breathing all on it's own) so they had to put him back on the ventilator. When they did that, they gave him some calming meds and Morphine, so he was basically out of it the entire day, which was fine since he deserved a break. But his labs were a little off, his x-rays showed that his lungs weren't re-opening quite like they wanted them too, his oxygen was still higher than they wanted, his hemoglobin's were low, and he was just not acting quite like Jaden usually acts. So they turned the ventilator slightly up to help open his lungs up a little more and they gave him some antibiotics (they think he might have an infection but they aren't sure - better safe than sorry), and they gave him some more blood. The only problem is that they took his ART line out, which means they had to put in an IV. They had a REALLY hard time finding a site for it. His veins just weren't working with them, so eventually they put it in his little head. As a mom, that was really hard to see. But if it helps him to feel better, than I guess it's all right. So here are some of our pictures from yesterday: Proof that I do change diapers.His super tiny pacifier! It's adorable! You can also see the IV in his precious head.This is a very blurry picture of me lifting him up to be weighed. My mom is still learning how to operate my camera. :) He now weighs 1 pound 10.5 ounces! That is 5.5 ounces gained in 12 days, and that was even before his blood transfusion last night, so his weight will only increase.This is me feeding him. Not the most traditional route, but I was feeding him nonetheless. He is up to 6mL a day! I better keep pumping it out!My precious little boy! I love Jaden so much, and I keep praying for him and thank all of you for your prayers as well. Jake and I both feel them working.

Today will be the hard day for Jaden. Yesterday they let him rest and regain his strength, but today he needs to start breathing again instead of letting the ventilator do all of the work. So keep the prayers coming!

I HELD HIM!!!!!

Like really held him! I was helping to weigh him and change his bedding when I commented how I haven't really held him yet, and the respiratory therapist told me that he had been stable long enough on the cPAP that I could hold him if I wanted. Oh! I wanted! They do what is called skin-to-skin contact, where they place his bare chest on my bare chest. It helps with bonding, it regulates his body temperature, it helps my milk production, and it is just about the coolest thing ever! Because of modesty issues, there are no pictures, but I got to hold him and rock him for about 20 minutes! They placed him on my chest, I put my hands (in gloves of course) on his tiny bum and on his back, and they placed warm blankets on his back. I talked to him, told him about his family, especially his daddy, sang to him and just had the time of my life! It was the most amazing experience ever! It was quite the production because they had to wheel over his oxygen machine, his IV machines, and all of the tubes and wires, but I'm so glad they let me do it! I'm not sure when I can do it again, but I hope it's soon!

In other updates, he is now up to 4mL of milk every 3 hours! And tomorrow they are going to start using my fresh milk, instead of the frozen stuff with the colostrum, which is exciting. They also took his ART line out, which was a direct line to an artery in his arm. It wasn't working fully, and they didn't really need it, so they took it out. That means that he has both hands and a foot totally free of wires! They did his 10 day head ultrasound and they found no signs of bleeding which is really good. That was the biggest danger he was in, and it looks like he has dodged it thus far. He is doing extremely well on the cPAP machine, so they don't expect to go back to the ventilator any time soon, but you never know. And last but not least, they found out last night that he LOVES to be swaddled, so he is a tiny tiny tiny burrito most of the time now! It's adorable! I love this kid!

Jaden's Big Night!

So 3 VERY cool and VERY big things happened last night! In the order they happened:

1. He opened both of his eyes!It was amazing so see his eyes! And we know he has at least partial hearing because he was looking straight up and I was off to the side and when he heard my voice he moved his eyes over to where I was. And yes, I cried like crazy!

2. I held him! Not in the cuddle in your arms type of way, but it was still very cool. In order to weigh him (he is up 60 grams since birth) and change his bedding, you have to put one hand under his little bum and one hand under his head and then lift straight up. So I got to hold my baby twice! It was awesome! I don't have any photo evidence since both of my hands were busy, so I'll show you his "stink face" that he makes when he gets mad:

3. They took him off the ventilator! Now, there is a step down process, so he wasn't completely on his own. They put him on a cPAC machine (I think that's what it's called...) which puts a tiny little mask over his nose and forces air into his lungs, but he still has to do all of the breathing. I was only there for a bit after they switched machines on him, but all of the nurses and the respiratory therapist kept coming over and marveling at how well he was doing! They said if I go back today and he is back on the ventilator not to be too surprised because they will probably go back and forth to help him out, but this is a huge step for him! However, he is still just as covered up as before:

So he is doing extremely well and we are so proud of him! Because the breathing tube is now out, if he wants to cry, he can. I heard him briefly after his birth, but it will be fun to hear it again! And for your viewing pleasures, here are two more fun pictures of him.

It is hard to really understand just how small he is, so here is a dollar bill for scale.
This is what I normally see as I sit by his bedside all day - just one of his tiny legs sticking up every now and then. He loves to move and flex his feet!

Jaden's Update - 6 Days Old

Wow! It has been a crazy 6 days! I am finally out of the hospital, which is both good and bad. It was nice to be just one floor below Jaden, but it's also nice to be able to sleep through the night without someone coming in to check my vitals (actually, I still have to get up twice during the night to pump, but I can handle that).
As far as Jaden goes, he is doing about as well as can be expected for someone of his size. He has gained a little weight and is now up to 1 pound 7 ounces, but we expected that because he had a blood transfusion. Don't get all concerned - it's perfectly normal for him to get a transfusion. In fact, he will probably get another one in a day or two. His bone marrow is just too young to do the job itself.
He was on the high dose of Bilirubin lights to help control his jaundice, and then he was weaned down to the lower light, and they said that his levels looked so good they are going to turn the light off completely today! Too bad, because I think the kid liked his tanning sessions: The light on the top is his Biliruben light. That is also why they cover his eyes - they are too sensitive for the light. Plus, one of his eyelids is still fused shut, so they will stay covered for awhile. The picture above is Jaden actually getting his name and a blessing. Not many babies get that when they are 4 days old, but it's more common for preemies. Plus, Jake is back at boot camp and wanted to give him a name and a blessing before he left. If you feel left out, don't worry. No one else was allowed in and you would have had to watch silently through a secure window. His official name, by the way, is Jaden Doggett Cuthbert. Kind of a mouthful for a little kid, but we like it.
He is on a ventilator to help him breath, but he is doing so well that they want to take him off the ventilator in the next day or so to see how he does on his own. He is also being weaned off his steroids, his antibiotics, and he has already been taken off his blood pressure meds. He is tolerating his feedings well and is pooping and peeing like a champ!
The nurses and doctors there always comment on how feisty he is! He is constantly moving and thrashing about, which is a good thing. He is stubborn and a fighter, and they like that about him. Hmm... I wonder where he gets that? This kid is definitely my child!
So all in all, he is doing as well as he could be. We know it will be 3 months full of up's and down's, and so far we haven't had a down, but we know it will come. He's a fighter, and so are we, so together we'll get through this!

Welcome Jaden Cuthbert!!!

Jaden Cuthbert arrived in dramatic fashion on Friday, January 28th at 6:55pm. He was born by emergency C-Section and weighed in at a whopping 1 pound 5 ounces! He is 12 inches long, and is 3 months premature.

I went to the doctors on Friday morning, and they were concerned that I might be developing preeclempsia so they transferred me to hospital for observations, and after some tests, they found out that I had extreme preeclempsia with HELLP syndrome and that I would have to deliver before the day was over or they would lose both baby and me. I was immediately transferred to a larger hospital with a level 3 NICU and they began preparing me for delivery. We were able to get a hold of Jake at boot camp and he not only got to call me but was granted 5 days emergency leave! I was so grateful!

Since his delivery, both Jaden and I are doing about as well as can be expected. I have recovered really well from the surgery, and Jaden has been responding really well. He is SUPER tiny, but SUPER adorable! He is drinking 1mL of my milk every 3 hours through a feeding tube, and he is on a ventilator to help him breath, but he is breathing a lot on his own too. He is expected to remain in the NICU for the next 3 months. I'll keep everyone updated on his progress, and of course post tonz of pictures! I know a lot of people want to know how they can help, but right now we would prefer not to have any visitors. Mostly, we just need prayers, especially for little Jaden. Jake goes back to boot camp on Wednesday, so I might start needing help then. We'll see. We love this little guy so much already!

Birthday Fun and A New Letter!

Happy birthday to me!! I had fun celebrating my birthday, although I was lonely without Jake. Luckily, I only have 31 more days before I get to see him again! I think I have a pretty cute niece! I'm definitely going to miss her when I move to Chicago.

Now for the highlights of Jake's latest letter:
The Best Part: "I can't wait to see your sexy pregoness!" That line just makes me smile every time!
The Worst Part: "The showers are the tree of life showers. The toilet stalls have curtains instead of doors and don't cover all the way." For those unfamiliar with the tree of life showers, they are the poles with 4 spigots and you just shower out in the open with lots of other people. Yuck.
He is very grateful for all of the letters he has received but he has limited time to write back, so if you don't get a letter from him, don't be offended. Your letters do help him through every day, so thank you for writing him, and keep the letters coming!

Holy Crap!! He Called!!!

Out of the blue, he called me today! Best birthday present ever!! He has a cold so he didn't sound like himself, but I'll take what I can get! Originally they were allowed an hour to call home, but every time the RDC's had to tell them to shut up over the last couple of days, they lost 3 minutes off of their time, so we got to talk for 36 minutes and 16 seconds. It was glorious to just hear from him!

He is doing well! From some of his last letters, it sounded like he was just about to be sent back in his training, but he said that isn't the case. Although he still wants everyone to pray that he graduates on time, he really isn't in jeopardy at this point. I guess there are only 2 recruits in his division that have perfect scores on all inspections and physical tests, and he is one of them! The only strike against him is that he had to have a mental health evaluation done early on because he was just so messed up about "abandoning" me, but his return appointment is tomorrow and he is doing much better now that he knows how I am coping, so that will be good.

I asked him about how many immunizations he had to have. The problem is that his immunization records from when he was a child we weren't able to locate so they just had to assume that he never got them. He said they weren't too bad because they use the new compression guns instead of needles. Except for the penicillin one. That one had to go in the butt, and although it didn't hurt at the time, it sure hurt later when he had to go outside and march holding two 70 pound bags!

He says he has the worst glasses ever! My bishop (who is also in the military) calls them BC glasses. Also known as Birth Control glasses! I guess they are about as unsexy as you can get! I also asked him about his hair, and he says he doesn't really have any! They pretty much shaved it all off when he first got there, and he says it's now about 2cm long. And apparently they'll cut it all off again soon. Oh well. That's the military for you I guess!

He loves being section leader! He says it's the best job ever! There is hardly any responsibility other than just managing some of the other recruits, he hardly ever gets yelled at, and there isn't a whole lot of work involved. I guess some recruits have the job of cleaning the bathrooms. Yuck! I'd rather be section leader too I guess.

That's about it. It was so good to hear his voice, even if it didn't sound like him. He thanks everyone for their prayers and letters! Keep 'em coming!

Not just one, but THREE new letters!!!!

It's like Christmas all over again! I went to the mailbox today and found 3 whole letters waiting for me! And not just form letters, but real handwritten letters with Jake's awful handwriting and horrible spelling! I was overjoyed! Here is what he told me:

• He is doing a lot better. He was having a really hard time at first, not because of the physical hardships, not because of the yelling, not because of the insults, not because of the "prison-like atmosphere", but because he missed me so much. That made me feel good! And it comes as a big surprise to both of us - I definitely didn't expect him to miss me very much, especially when he told me he never got homesick on his mission. But after he decided to turn his worries and problems over to the Lord, it has gotten a lot easier.
  
• He wants everyone to specifically pray that he won't get ASMO'd. Basically, it means he will get set back in his training and not graduate on time. Apparently, his RDC (drill instructor) is SUPER tough and is known as the ASMO king. He specifically looks for things that he can use to send recruits back in their training. Right now, the only thing keeping him going is the thought that it will all be over soon and he will see me. So pray he graduates on time!
  
• He mentioned how many lines he feels like he has to wait in! Just line after line after line.
  
• One of the exercises they make him do is called "swim on the floor" where they lay down on the floor with their arms extended in front of them off the floor and their legs are off the ground as well and then they have to move them up and down while singing the theme song to Sponge Bob Square Pants! My brother got a kick out of that!
  
• He is a section leader, but basically it just means that when they march, he marches in the front of the group. He said that when they get the marching just right, it's really fun!
  
• He got his dog tags, and for his religion, they put "Freewill Baptist Convention". There is one other Mormon kid in his division, and he had the same thing put on his dog tags. He can't get it changed until after Boot Camp.
  
• He finally was allowed to go to church on January 2nd, and it was so good! He got to take the Sacrament and get a priesthood blessing. The schedule is Priesthood/Relief Society and then Sacrament Meeting, so church there is only 2 hours and 15 minutes long. He went with the other LDS kid (who has Portuguese parents, but doesn't speak Portuguese) in his division. He said he enjoys church so much partly because it is such a contrast to life with the RDC's. It is so peaceful and quiet and the Spirit is plentiful.
  
• The food there is pretty decent. Apparently they are fed by Goodwill. Sure surprised me! They have fruits, veggies, salads, cereals, and desserts always available, and then some hot dishes for each meal.
  
• It is SUPER cold there (not a big surprise since it's north of Chicago) but he isn't cold because anytime they go outside they make them wear a big coat, a scarf, a ski mask, a beanie, and gloves.
  
• His daily schedule is pretty much when he wakes up (reveille), shaves, makes his bed, and goes to chow (his meal). Then sometimes they go to the computer lab to study, sometimes they exercise, sometimes they drill (march) outside. It just depends.

Wow! That's a lot I know, but it's from 3 long letters. I will leave you with his parting words, and don't forget - keep writing him and praying for him!

"I can take the standing for hours, the being pushed around like cattle, not being able to talk to people around me, but the most difficult thing I have ever been through in my life has happened here. That is being away from Mari, not knowing how she is, or being able to communicate with her for a few weeks. I never had homesickness on the mission but I miss Mari so much. That caught me off guard. You never know how good you have it till you go without. Cherish your families. You will miss them when they are away. So, now that my back is a little stronger, my bladder 3 times as big (I guess they make you wait to go to the bathroom a lot), and my faith is in God, I'm ready to do this. Thanks for your love and prayers, they are felt."I love my Sailor!

I Got a Letter! Sort of...

So all I have gotten from Jake so far was his initial form letter letting me know all about graduation. Today I got another letter, but once again, it's mostly forms. It has all of the paperwork I need to get my military ID and become enrolled with the military insurance. But it did have his signature on the bottom, so at least I know he's alive! :) And I'm still waiting on that promised phone call...

P.S. I just made my plane reservations for graduation! I've been watching airline prices like a hawk the past couple of weeks, and they just went down by quite a bit, so I booked my flight and car! Now I just need to pray that Jake graduates on time! :)

4 Years of Married Bliss!

Today is my 4th anniversary, and how am I spending it? Sitting at home just wishing that Jake calls home today. Today marks 2 weeks that he's been at boot camp, and he said that he could call in 2 weeks, so I'm hoping it's today. We'll see though. Until then, here are some fun Christmas pictures to hold everyone over:

My baby got really spoiled over the holiday, which is exactly what I wanted! He now owns 8 pairs of shoes (which is more than his dad!) and he isn't even born yet!!

P.S. Did anyone else see the super creepy Christmas fog? Being a fan of the Mistborn books, it creeped me out!

A Call For Letters

I just got my first letter from Jake at Boot Camp, and he is very discouraged. He has to spend the Holidays there alone and obviously boot camp is not a fun place to be. He can't receive packages, but the more letters the better! So PLEASE write him as much as you can over the next 2 months!

SR CUTHBERT, JACOB, S
SHIP 09 DIV 076
RECRUIT TRAINING COMMAND
3415 SAILOR DRIVE
GREAT LAKES, IL 60088-3515

Thanks!

I'm So Proud Of My Sailor!

Well, he's gone. He arrived in Chicago late last night and he'll be there for 9 weeks. I'm doing much better than I thought I would be doing, and I'm just so proud of him!
P.S. I spent my first night alone, and I actually did okay! I'm pretty scared of the dark, so being here on my own frightened me, but I'm proud of how I handled it.

Now we just need to agree on a boy name!